Revised version, of what was originally written on:
15th march 2015, at 11:12pm
To see him, who I knew had been holding back so much, for so long, crack, as the tears swelled up in his hazel brown eyes, he gripped his fingers into a tight fist, trying to control them back, but instead only more flowed as a result…hurt.
I fought to steady myself, to hold back the urge to run to him and hug him. Because I knew he needed space to let it out. Because to cry, to feel, and to hurt is to be human. To push feelings down and pretend they don’t exist only makes things a whole lot worse.
Oh how I knew!
It was in that moment, that I witnessed him crack, and saw how hard he tried to hold it all together as he fell apart, that I saw the reflection of the little lost girl that lived inside me too. I realised how fragile we both were, struggling to survive under the weight of it all. Two broken souls trying their best to find their way in the world, who grew up way too fast. Who fought with deafening screaming demons that lived inside their head. The demons that would feed off the negativity and suppressed emotions killing them slowly like a deadly poison.
But she knew what the Shifa (The Cure) was, and as he walked away trying his best to be brave, she lifted her hands up and prayed. Because she knew, none but He, held the power to saving them both.
Side note: I wanted to highlight a few things by writing/sharing this piece of mine.
One of the points being, the similarities between both boys+girls(women+men) in this piece, and how suppressed emotions aren’t healthy. How it doesn’t matter what gender you’re, everyone is entitled to feeling emotions and showing them.
Another key point, is that it doesn’t belittle your status or worth, nor does it make you any less of a man/woman by sharing how you feel.
On the contrary, 3 things I’ve learnt/am still learning, is that:
1) It takes a lot of strength+courage to share how you feel, no matter how weak or vulnerable you may feel afterwards.
We should encourage+remind others more often,
regardless of gender, how brave a thing it is to do, too!
2) It isn’t about us saying or knowing the best comforting thing, but rather, allowing a person to truly ‘feel’ + ‘express’ whatever pent-up frustrations they may be feeling.
As difficult as it may be to try hold ourselves back from giving advice.
(little bonus tip: Some prefer to be given space, while others prefer to be cuddled/hugged + reassured after having let things out. If you’re able to figure out or ask, what a person prefers, it can work wonders! It shows them you care + are both willing and observant to their needs/wants.)
3) By reaching an all time low, it doesn’t mean we’re back to square one + that we can never successfully battle the negative thoughts we struggle with. Rather, just like in order to fly, we must let go, how can we do so if we’ve got so much weighing us down? We need to empty ourselves + take time to sift+filter through our feelings in order to see things clearly. It may sting like the cutting onions process, but once the tears have been shed, In’Sha’Allah (God Willing), all the dirt and pain will have been washed away too. You will have been cleansed from the inside out. Fresh to start over again, anew.
Your thoughts and feedback are always welcome + greatly appreciated, so please don’t feel shy about leaving a comment or two about what you thought. If you’re interested in reading similar posts, do let me know..
…Till then, do take care, stay hydrated, + may Peace be upon you ~
featured photo above belongs to Tumblr user: @_o91 ,
photo below belongs to Tumblr user: themanulya